Monday, 11 February 2019

Braving It To Dance To The Beat Of Your Own Drum

When we pay attention, and by paying attention I mean be aware of the bigger picture in life, we notice things. We can be guided by whichever higher power you personally identify with. Meaningful signs appear to you just at the right time to get your attention, followed by something that speaks directly into your life. 

This is what happened to me recently. I had been going through a really challenging time. I was being misunderstood. I'd say something that was taken the wrong way, which then threatened insecurities to raise their ugly head. Fortunately, the lesson I had begun to learn, which I wrote about in my last post, kicked in. I knew I had to stand for what I believed in and what was good for me. And I had so many signs to guide me along the way.

Saying no, I was misunderstood. I genuinely didn't want to upset the person I was saying no to, but I knew I couldn't say yes, for a multitude of reasons. The list for no outweighed the one for yes. Unfortunately, the other person took my no to mean more than it did and she parted ways.

This left me with a lot to process. Do I fight my corner and try to explain that's not what I meant? If I respect their decision and back off without a fight, would they understand one day? I don't know.

So I respectfully backed away without putting up a fight.

However, I did know this was not actually my battle. I was secure in my decision, but it had taken me years to get to this point in my life. To be secure enough to say no when I knew a no was absolutely necessary. 

The following week, there was an explosion of opportunities and good news. It was like I had opened up space for all these things...

Which got me thinking...

How much do we close ourselves off to when we people please? When we say yes when what we really want to say is no? 

Not only do we lose out on what could be, we become less ourselves and more them. Our light dims and we no longer shine. 

The thing is, you are here for a reason. You are unique. You are loved and the world needs us to shine. Shining is not to be confused with trying to please everyone. We are all imperfectly perfect...our honest expressions of ourselves done even in love will set off others' insecurities. But that's not your fault. It's not even theirs. They've just yet to learn about themselves and grow.

Another lesson, which I'll write separately about, is having the strength to remove yourself from toxic environments. We can be so narrow minded and rooted in a small space, that we think that's all there is. Which makes leaving it harder. But when you see that there's a big, big world out there, it makes the decision easier. Again, though, you will be misunderstood. But if you stay out of fear of being misunderstood, you miss out on so much that is waiting for you, not to mention you even lose yourself!

And life is too short for that!

I may, at the time of writing, be completely misunderstood by a few. But it makes me stronger in myself. I shine more brightly. I do see things from their perspective, because I've been there. Although I choose not to put up a fight, I am fighting by just being me and staying true to my decisions, knowing that one day, some of those people will get it and may indeed go through the very same process for themselves. 

And for those people, my door is kept open.

Monday, 14 January 2019

The Fear of Being Your Wild and Passionate Self

I bloomin knew this would be a blog post! Everything I feel deeply ends up being poured out into words. Like a dam about to burst, it's inevitable!

Yet, strong emotions and epithanies are so difficult to put into words. You want to do what you're feeling justice, because you know it's precious. Yet at the same time you don't want to put people to sleep. 🙄


The other day I woke up after a good night. That night was in fact a party for one, due to friends living so far away and moving to a new area, I've yet to meet new friends who embrace my eccentricities! It's a good job I like my own company, lol. 

This particular morning, however, something was different. I found myself thinking, as I usually do, 'Am I too much? Am I too open? Am I making a fool of myself? Should I hold back?'

This time however, a small, yet firm voice, replied. It said, 'Okay, it's time to stop this now. You are perfect and if anything, you need to start fully embracing who you are. Stop rejecting yourself' Yes, this voice reeled off all the cliches. Yet this time, they really struck a chord. Like the proverbial nine inch drop, from head to heart.

You get to a certain point in life, generally age related (sigh), where you recognise people pleasing is crippling you. It not only stops you from being who you know you're meant to be, but it prevents you from doing so many wonderful things in life. It stops you shining.

Shining requires vulnerability.

It requires facing fear.

To be fully you, for most people, requires superhuman bravery.

Most of my real life heros are those who are unashamedly themselves. They express their opinions, yet in humility, while inspiring others, yet have strong and very clearly defined boundaries. They're the epitome of free spirited.

So there I was, pondering this recurring theme of 'Being true to yourself'.

When something else came up and triggered something of a sleeping giant in me. "Sensible" me tried to convince it to go back to bed. Sleeping giant, aka passionate me, was having none of it! 

'Oh crap. Here we go'.

You see sensible me is a man made, culturally conditioned, fearful of rocking the boat, live by society's laws, both unspoken and spoken, fake me.

Real me used to scare me...

She is passionate. Wants to explore places(sometimes bare footed). Loves doing really silly things. Loves to have deep conversations, particularly at night, with a few drinks. Loves painting. Loves journaling. Loves prefixing things she likes with the word loves. Feels deeply. Finds people fascinating. Gets frustrated easily. Sometimes with said interesting people. Wants to go camping..

            with friends...

                       and a few drinks...

while stargazing.

I used to be that person fully. It got me into a lot of trouble.

When I was a toddler, I climbed out of the window to 'pop to the shops' to get my sister some sweets. I knew my way there and back too. I came home before the police had a chance to turn up. 🤣

I faced my fears, explored seriously creepy places and saw things I can't to this day explain. 

I almost died of dehydration exploring a mountain, when some guy saved me and those I was with.  

Yet, in time, this independant, wandering spirit, was slowly but surely suppressed by systems. 

School, parental and cultural.

Finding myself homeless, I ended up stuck in the rat race in order to play it safe and live by the system.

But I couldn't.

So I up and left EVERYTHING! My job. The house I owned. And the man I was engaged to.

The dream was to travel.

But life again didn't work out the way I planned.

I found love. Got married. Had a family.

But I also found myself living a life the way others wanted me to live it. I was in a religious system which frowned on things I was, at one time, very passionate about. I was living in an area that was crushing me.

Most of you know the story. I took a leap of faith and left that system, and began to pursue my dreams.

They began to come true last year and continue to unfold even now.

Which brings me back to the beginning of this post. 

For some reason, I find myself being reminded, prompted and warned, not to ever fall into that place of fear and conformity again. I've already been thinking a lot about the risk of slipping into complacency once your dreams come to pass. 

I feel that something big and something wonderful is about to happen, if I only learn to embrace and fully live my passionate, wild self, unashamedly. 

And again, this requires vulnerability, facing fear and being brave. 

Thursday, 27 December 2018

My Word For 2019 - Possibilities

I knew that for 2019 I wanted to have a catch all word. But choosing one was a difficult task because I have BIG ambitions! I want to live life to the absolute fullest and go on lots of adventures, both at home and abroad.

 Thinking I had it, I proudly shared it with my sister. But me being me made her guess first and that's when my word changed....she happened to guess one that fit everything perfectly!

So I changed it!

My word for 2019 is POSSIBILITIES!

It's an energetic, adventurous word. In fact I was originally going to have adventure as my word. However, my reason for choosing POSSIBILITIES is because I want to not only find opportunities and possibilities that could come to me, but also seek out the ones harder to see or even believe. 

People who succeed at the incredible often seek out the seemingly impossible, ignoring the ocean of naysayers. They literally chase their dreams.

That's my goal for 2019.

To create my word journal spread, I used the feather stencil in Decembers Lollipop Box and painted it to match my logo colours.

I also used the stamps in the kit to add detail and to circle 2019.

Are you choosing a catch all word for 2019? You don't even need to have just one. A couple of years ago when I did this it was literally life changing. It released me from so many self limiting beliefs and I discovered my true self.

I really so hope this post has inspired you in some way. I wish you a very happy and blessed 2019!

Tuesday, 27 November 2018

This Is Me - Day 22: Conclusion

As you will have noticed, I have chosen to conclude this challenge on day 22. This is for various reasons, but mainly because I saw the engagement come to a halt and so decided to make it easier by shortening the challenge. Besides, todays may take a few days of contemplation.

Today, go over all your entries and begin to write a new script for your life. Everything that has gone before you would now hold enough information to form a basic script. For example, your dream/s, goals, morals etc. Pick areas of your life that you feel you have enough information to write a new script for. 

Originally, this challenge was to set you up for something similar to March Magic. We would have been focusing on one main dream with every intention of manifesting it by the end of the month. However, due to changes earlier in the month, and these challenges needing more guidance in the form of worksheets etc, we will be doing something far more simpler for December. As with everything, I try to learn, grow and evolve. I feel this has been accomplished with the journal prompts in this group.

Lookout for some news coming very soon. I have a couple of things planned which I can't wait to share with you all! Xx

Wednesday, 21 November 2018

This Is Me - Day 21: Friendships

Today, take time to evaluate the company you surround yourself with. Are they encouraging and do they lift you up? Do they believe in you and your dreams, or do they laugh at them. 

Journal your thoughts on this today. If changes need to be made in this area, think on the best course of action to take.

This Is Me - Day 20: Revisit Your Dreams

Today, revisit your dreams and what you journaled. See related post here.

There are bound to be new ideas or tweaks that need to be made. Today, you can, if you wish to, create a fresh page of dreams. Journal why you made those changes or any new findings. All this thinking is working towards a greater goal.

This Is Me - Day Nineteen: Choices Part Two

It's time to revisit our choices. See previous post on this here.

How did you get on with making new choices and decisions based on your new empowering statements?

This week, we're going to do exactly the same but with a different topic.

  • This week, pick a subject you would like to focus on. Note this in your journal. For example, you could choose 'Money'.

  • List a set of intentions to do with your chosen topic. Not too many so as to overwhelm yourself. Two or three will do.

  • List as many empowering affirmations as you want. Tomorrow will be a craft tutorial on creating portable affirmations.

  • Every day this week, document how you applied your new, positive choices and what happened as a result.

Braving It To Dance To The Beat Of Your Own Drum

When we pay attention, and by paying attention I mean be aware of the bigger picture in life, we notice things. We can be guided by which...