When you're close to a breakthrough, you can be sure the situation will intensify! I say can because everyone's situation is different. But generally, the saying is true, it's always darkest before dawn. Yes, the night forced you into seeking, but when you do, it may just get darker still before the light of dawn breaks. This is what I've read happen countless times, never really giving much thought to it, until it happened to me. In some ways, it brings reassurance and the encouragement to keep going, knowing countless others have gone through the very same.
Back on that fateful day of the funeral and meeting my new neighbours, I had already been practicing affirmations and positive thinking. By positive thinking I mean focusing on all that is good, on the pursuit of my dreams and overcoming a victim mentality. Journaling and art literally kept me going. Finding new courses, going to events, all gave me the motivation to keep going.
As things began to get worse, I felt it would need more than just positive thinking and constantly reciting affirmations. Not that I didn't believe those things held power. But the opposite. They were working but they drew power from me, and I needed to refill the well so to speak.
I had begun looking into moonology and how the moon can act as a natural timer. Researching the phases of the moon gave a depth to my life and really started to help direct me. On certain days, such as the new moon, I set aside time to refocus. At this time I also very tentatively, decided to explore the subject of crystals. I bought a few and took inspired action with them.
This was all very good, but again, my situation worsened. Yet deep down I knew I was making unseen progress. Something was happening. Something good. But you just couldn't yet see it. Like another unseen world, my work with everything so far was working its magic, which would soon start manifesting in the visible world.
Now at this point the neighbours had not yet ganged together. However, after confronting next door about her shouting and antisocial behaviour, she spread rumours about me. That night I lay in bed utterly terrified.
I've never in my life known terror like it. I've had panic attacks. But this was different. This was "grab the children and go now" terror. And that's what I decided to do.
Arguments ensued with my husband and we decided after 18 years of marriage, to call it a day. After telling the children and looking for jobs and housing, my husband finally put our house on the market. It wasn't the perfect scenario because I didn't want us to part ways, but knowing a plan was in motion I felt the terror subside and a new hope rise.
Work had come to a halt because of the noise, the atmosphere in the house and area was oppressive and I felt my overall health beginning to be affected. Last year was the fittest I've ever been and now here I was, feeling the worst I've ever felt.
I don't know what it was, but one day my husband and I agreed it would be easier to find somewhere to rent together and give that a go. As a couple we found ourselves in a no man's land.
I was really in a dark place but an inner belief that something bigger than me was going on, something good, stubbornly remained, no matter how bad things got. This led me to seek out things I perhaps wouldn't have done. I felt if things could get really bad, then the opposite has to exist. That things can get ridiculously good.
During that time I researched protective energy in crystals. By now, I had been feeling a comfort and really good energy from them. I was also fascinated in the scientific side of them. How they're structured and carry energy. This is the reason quartz crystals are used in watches. Then discovering it's not just in watches they're used. This really fascinated me and I couldn't believe crystals are still regarded too woo woo for some people even though they may have one on their wrist or in their computer. I bought pieces of Jet, Apache tear, Tourmaline and Labradorite, all known for their protective qualities. I then placed them in certain areas. Again, this not only comforted me, but I knew something powerful was happening.
Well, not long after this all hell broke loose which will be revealed in Part three!
No comments:
Post a Comment